There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
