I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
