this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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