Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
