I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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