i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
