ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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