just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
