I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
