i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
