thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
