I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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