dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
