So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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