i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
