No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
