its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
