paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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