She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize