walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
