Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize