I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
