Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
