i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
