he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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