Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Found the puke drawer
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
