dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize