You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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