just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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