i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
