In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
