so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
