so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
