well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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