During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I just shit out all my problems.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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