Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
