Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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