why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
