Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
