Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
