so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
