id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
