I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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