I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
