my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
