Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize