Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize