I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
