i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
