remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
