I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
