the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize