I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im six kinds of drunk right now
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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