On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
