No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
