just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Found the puke drawer
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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