I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
