So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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