Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So vagazzling was a success
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
